Be-Confident

How to Be Confident

We are all human and have flaws. Even if your physical appearance, intellectual ability, or social skills aren't what you wish they were, that doesn't have to stop you from being confident. Here's how to believe in yourself.

Steps

Make a list of special talents you have, or of things you do that are good—morally or otherwise. Focusing on your attributes helps distract you from those parts of yourself that you think are flawed. It doesn't have to be a specific skill or activity, either; it can be an approach or an attitude that you champion through life. Do you always stay calm, cool and collected, even in harried situations? Are you very patient with people? Do you always see the humorous side of things? Are you always there for your friends?

Find your passion.

Whether it's baton twirling, martial arts, classic cars, or basket weaving, you will feel confident pursuing that endeavor by recognizing what you enjoy doing the most. More importantly, you'll be enjoying your progress.

Choose a role model, whether someone close to you, or someone famous. Think of the qualities, that the role model displays, whether physical, emotional, moral, and/or spiritual. Work towards acquiring those.

Accept compliments gracefully. Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right", or shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile works well).

know that you have important things to say and do. When you feel strongly about something,
speak loudly and clearly and make eye contact with people. Be yourself.

Take care of yourself. Eat healthy and get enough exercise. Don't abuse your body, don't overload it, and don't deny it of the things it needs. At the same time, don't obsess. Buying all the moisturizers, creams and conditioners will not bring you closer to who you want to be. Those things are only band-aids and make up. Confidence comes from within. Take the time to reflect on your life and do some emotional maintenance. In order to be confident, you must value yourself and understand that your well-being is important.

Stick up for yourself. If people put you down (and not in a good-natured, joking way), then let them know that their opinion of you is not held by everyone--most of all yourself. This may, at first, be hard to do. But once you stick up for yourself a few times, your confidence builds and you get more adept at it.

Celebrate your individuality. If you know you've got something special or different, then embrace it—don't hide it! That's diversity! You may wish that you were taller, or shorter, skinnier, stronger, whatever the case may be. But you need to realize that, if you were like everyone else, then you wouldn't be who you are. "What am I?" you ask; the answer's easy: You're a unique individual who is capable and growing and learning.

Take action. It is surprising at how powerful the simple step of taking action can be. And the action you take need not be something extravagant or grand. It could be something as simple as tackling a task that you have been procrastinating, such as writing a letter or tidying up that corner of the garage that has been out of control for the last several months. It could also be something as interesting as taking a class in yoga, art, interior design, anything that interests you that you haven't done yet. Whether large or small, action brings with it exhilaration, enthusiasm, and the confidence that other things can be done as well.

Tips

Try not to compare yourself so much with other people. It is a wasteful pursuit and you could be doing something better with your time and energy. Know what you, personally, want and expect from yourself, and focus on attaining those things. The things that you want and expect from yourself shouldn't have anything to do with how you measure up to others.

Consider attending leadership classes. Learn to take control of things. If you are in school, then consider running for a social position, such as a president of a club. The ability to lead others and respond to others' behavior under your leadership will help to bring you self confidence.

Listen to your inner monologue—your inner voice. In situations where you believe you lack confidence, realize that your inner voice is telling you negative things. You need to retrain that inner voice to be positive in those situations. If you need help, find someone who can help you do that.

Warnings

Don't put yourself down. Everyone is different and has a valuable contribution to make to a diverse society. You are important for the person you are.

Don't stop yourself from doing what you want to do.

Remember that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Be careful not to portray a pompous or cocky attitude.

Never excuse your virtues. For example, don't say, "Sorry for being here on time" when your friend is not ready.